Universal Pictures
The 40-Year-Old Virgin is already celebrating its 10-year anniversary because, man, you’re getting old! A lot has happened in that time. The careers of Seth Rogen and Steve Carell have skyrocketed, and Paul Rudd, well, he continues to mysteriously look exactly the same. The movie was a huge hit upon its release and helped usher in raunchy R-rated comedies like Superbad, Pineapple Express, and This Is the End. Perhaps more importantly, though, it showed that even the most romantically clueless of people can find love.
To mark the 10th anniversary of the Judd Apatow classic, let’s look back at all the love lessons one can pull from Andy’s trials and tribulations on the path to losing his virginity.
Don’t put your crush on a pedestal.
Remember, your crush is just another human being. Not some mythical Greek god/goddess that is to be fawned over and begged for a coffee date on a Thursday afternoon. They do stupid and gross stuff all the time, just like every other human being walking the planet. So, stop worshiping at the altar of Pussaliath.
Ask questions — just not in a serial killer-type way.
Amazingly, Andy manages to spark some interest in Beth by never doing anything but repeatedly asking her questions. Granted, he does it in the most creepy way possible, but Cal’s advice of “just ask questions and be kind of a dick” works like a charm. People like to talk about themselves, and Andy’s showing interest by channeling his inner David Caruso and asking nothing except questions. If it works for David Caruso and it works for Steve Carell, it’ll work for you.
Leave a lasting impression.
Andy’s manager Paula is a sexual-harassment suit waiting to happen, but there is still knowledge that can be pulled from her inappropriate behavior. Mainly, leave a lasting impression that will haunt — or at least linger — with your crush. Maybe don’t go up and sniff them like they’re a musk ox in heat, though. That’s just creepy.
Throw out a little innuendo.
Andy’s throwing out sexual innuendo and he doesn’t even realize it. As clueless as he is, it works on Elizabeth Banks like a charm. Yes, she’s a drunk nymphomaniac, but the point is that even a seemingly safe line like “I hope you have a big trunk, because I’m gonna put my bike in it” can get the ball rolling toward the bedroom. (Note: This can also backfire horribly as in the case of Paula and Andy.)
Turn on the charm.
Okay, so there’s really nothing charming about Paula’s interactions with Andy or her story about statutory rape. If anything, this whole interaction should probably be reported to corporate, and Paula might want to talk to a professional. The lesson here: A little charm can go a long way. Just don’t look to this scene for any of it.
Make sure you look your best.
It’s important that you look your best if you’re to have any hope at catching your crush’s eye. Maybe that means eliminating “the whole Teen Wolf thing you got going on,” or maybe it means simply getting a haircut and putting on a decent pair of pants. Whatever the case, don’t be afraid to take the necessary steps to look your best — EVEN if it means enduring excruciating pain and looking like a hairy jack-o-lantern.
Universal Pictures
Communicate with confidence.
Being that phones are now used almost exclusively for texting and scrolling through social media, the chances of you asking the object of your affection out through a phone call are probably slim. However, if you do decide to blow their mind and actually make a phone call, try your best to sound relaxed and friendly. People can actually hear if you’re smiling when you speak. Ah, forget it. Just send a text with “Sup? :)”
Know when to throw in the towel.
Sometimes your love interest just isn’t going to have any interest back. There’s nothing sadder than somebody continually trying to make sparks fly when there are none. Whether it’s trying to win back an ex or generate interest in somebody completely new, sometimes there’s just nothing there, and it’s better to cut your losses and move on. You don’t want to be Dave and miss out on a good thing like Gina because you were too busy pinning over a love that was never meant to be.
Follow up and reach out.
One of the few things Andy actually gets right in his pursuit of Trish is that he follows up after she gives him her card and stops by her store to ask her out. Yes, he’s a bit stiff and nervous in their interaction, but the important thing is that he didn’t let the opportunity pass him by. Just remember that after you ask your crush out to get the hell out of there as fast as possible before you do something stupid and give them a reason to change their mind.
Use it or lose it.
Universal
I’m not saying that your sexual organs will shrivel up and die if you never use them — though I’m not saying they won’t, either. But the big takeaway message from Andy’s conquest to lose his V card is that, unless you take a chance and really put yourself out there, you’re going to end up missing out on a lot of good stuff. Those nights of taking three Excedrin PMs and watching Boner Jams ’03 are going to get real old after a while.